MistyRose

not the full lyrics,these are how i feel currently….

is there something i could say to make you change your mind

when i see you on the street,i see it in your eyes

your love is gone,my love was wrong

hope you find the things you said you need

i’m just dying here coz its not me

do you think about me?

smile about me?

i cant stand this pain without you

do you love without me?

cry about me?

do you feel this pain that i feel?

you’re the only one to mend my heart

hope you find the things you said you need

i’ve been crying here coz its not me

did you really feel the way you told me?

tell me baby

do you think about me?

smile about me?

i cant stand this pain without you

do you love without me?

cry about me?

do you feel this pain that i feel?

in the break of dawn

here i am

your image,your smile

in my mind

in the break of dawn

here i am

your smell,your voice

still in my mind

things maybe over

to be it seems still so fresh

things maybe over

my heart still feels pain

things maybe over

i still couldnt get over you

in the break of dawn

here i am

your words,your promises

hurts my heart

in the break of dawn

here i am

your gifts,your pictures

makes me cry

had alot to say..but do not know where to start from…too many things happen…dramatically.To think of it now,it was like i had just finished watching a comedy for 7 years…

Question marks and alot of why has been revolving in my mind…i am pissed,hurt and confused.

There’s alot to ask,but is there a point?Is it gonna help?

If you ask me,how does love and hate feels altogether,i can answer you now.

If you ask me,are you waiting?i will tell you,i had never let go before,even if i am being forced,even if i had to fake a smile every fucking day,even if i will have to pretend to live my life as usual,even if i do hate you,YES! i am still waiting.

Calls me a stubborn bitch,calls me a stupid fool…This is just something not alot of people understands,this is not just a regular puppy love,how many in this fucking world understand and know what we’ve shared…maybe even YOU do not know how much it means to me which may mean nothing to you…

ok…it has been a long time since i’m writing stuff in here…well,ever since the last time i blogged,alot of things had happen during these short period of time…

forget about those that had already happened,let’s talk about today…damn ’suay’ day…customers who wanna act class when they had no fucking class and knowledge about dining and wine,fucking japanese who thinks that they can cheat and bully me for not being able to read japanese,and got away with one free set of Churrasco…and to end up all those bad incidents,i sprain my fucking ankle while serving those ill-mannered fucking japanese…ok,this is really bad enough for me…sometimes,i really just need someone to be there for me…everyone has got their weak side,i had mine too,i am also a normal person and not always as strong as some may think of me….

i understand yours but it seems that no one understand mine at all….

i miss my complete family…my sis,and her 3 kids…had not seen them for months…my sis…married with 3 kids…miss the childhood we’d once shared,miss those outings we used to have,the jokes we used to share,all of coz with my brother too…

spending time with my mom today…had not been doing there that often as i’m too cope up with work…sometimes i didnt even get to see her the whole week..looking at her and my dad today,noticing they had in fact aged alot,and not as energetic,i know i have to show them more love and concern especially to my mom….without her i dont even think i will be able to breathe till today…

i love you mummy…..

superficial…what a good word…this describe humans perfectly,in the modern world now…i remembered my mom and i used to have a chat on this..we’re talking about people…my mom said..the heart of ppl in the past are simpler and life are of course less complicating…and i believe so,because even in records,ppl in the past they lived longer,less illness and diseases and i believe,they’re happier…why are the generations getting more and more selfish,self-centered and complicated?should we blame it on the society or ourselves?

i used to think that my thoughts about ppl around me are fucking superficial…there’s a period of time i took it back thinking of giving myself another chance to prove that i am wrong about it…now…it seems that the thoughts are roaming back into my mind..and of coz it doesn’t mean that it applies to everybody…if everyone can do themselves a favor,by stepping one step back one day for maybe a few minutes,take a deep breath and listen to themselves thru’ their heart…what can they hear?i tried once..and i teared…

try it..what does your heart tells you?you may be surprise or you may feel better…

this afternoon my baby called me…before the call,i stepped a step behind and took a deep breath to listen to myself,i know i need a pillar,i need a support now coz i cannot take it anymore,i cannot stand those superficial ppl and their nonsense anymore…when i heard my baby’s voice,i started to cry badly…coz he is my comfort zone,my pillar and my support..

whichever fucking ‘LUCKY’ motherfucker who had picked up MY 50 BUCKS!!!!you’re fucking lucky ass!!!!and may my note curse you to hell!!!!DIE!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!sob sob…………!!!!

it’s has been really long since i saw some of my ex-secondary school classmates…very delighted,happy and excited especially when time is drawing near to welcome their arrival….

they’re really sweet to have think of coming to my workplace to look for me as due to my working time always,clashes with our gathering,i don’t have much chance to see them…

tonight,Yvonne and family(kelvin and 2 precious),Leevin,Lynette,Karen,Charles,James and Raine(Jame’s gf) came to Windows for dinner…Junhui came later after work but most of them left coz need to work the next morning leaving only Charles waiting for him…Karen has already got a 4 yrs old girl,James is happily attached to Raine…can tell they’re really sweet together…seeing all of them,is like a dream fulfilled…

so,Charles and Junhui waited for me to knock off and had supper at the coffee shop near my place..after that,both the boys came to my place to have more chats..we have so much to catch up with..all the memories in school and all the nonsense we used to do…

i had so much fun playing with Yvonne’s 2 precious..kieran is such a smiley boy…Chloe is as shy as usual but can tell that she did had a good time with all the aunties and uncles…haahaa…

it has been a long time since i can feel my smile and happiness from my heart…

i can TOTALLY understand that we’re living in a fucking selfish society…and i can TOTALLY understand that people live for only their own…but I’m not one of you ungrateful beings…i know and will remember who are the ones who have been treating me well…and will respect and honors them with all i can…you people can take advantage of me all you want…i can’t be bothered anymore coz in my eyes now,you mean nothing to me…i lost my life,my friends,my time to this selfish world…and what do i get?show offs and unfair treatments from you ungrateful pigs…fuck you all…